Ever since I have been updating my online presence, specifically through LinkedIn for this case, I have been getting lots of targeted Ads on YouTube as well as random and suspicious people contacting me. The following is the second email I received from one such person.
The Email
Luke,
I’d like to tell you a story. It’s about WHY I do what I do, and why I’d like to help YOU achieve getting your dream job.
When I left school I struggled with clarity and what kind of career path I wanted and I worked multiple jobs. The one thing I did learn was how to quickly and effectively land a job.
I worked some dead-end jobs and know the feeling where you stare at the clock and it feels like it goes backwards, it’s depressing, it’s draining and it’s demotivating and you feel as if you are trapped.
I currently run a very successful recruitment agency and help 1000’s of people land their dream job every day. Anyone who know’s me has heard my motto “I’m in the business of helping people”. It’s now harder than ever to find and land a job let alone your dream job. But, with the right tools, skills and knowledge it is certainly possible and I’m going to show you my secrets.
The reason I wanted to share my story with you is because I want you to know me. And I want you to know that I can help you, too.
So do me a favor? Make a commitment to change your life for the better!
As you’ll see, I’m helping people land their dream job and get the future they deserve
Can I really help YOU?
Please click this link and let’s see. Get Early Access Now.
Let me know if you have any questions,
Byron
My Draft Reply
Hi Byron,
I would like to offer some feedback/insight on your email and my impression of the 10x coaching institute website.
Your email is is well crafted to appeal to a general audience while maintaining a personal ‘feel’. Though, it is not personalized. There is nothing indicating that you have considered my personal situation or aspirations which you could have easily found in the same place you obtained my contact details on LinkedIn. This makes me believe that it is simply a standard email you send to all leads, leaving me with a sense of disconnection.
The story you have included is touching for your selected audience, I am sure; it struck a few notes with me as well. It shows that you are aware of the emotional vulnerability of your audience and that you do not mind using it as a marketing strategy.
You included the remark, ‘I want you to know me.’, which is actually quite nice but what I really want to ask is, ‘do you want to know ME?’. You should include that you want to know the person you are addressing as well.
The website https://www.10xcoachinginstitute.com/ is nice to look at but the ‘About Us’ page has no information on it, just the text ‘A default About Us page’. This does not inspire confidence to say the least. A reverse image search of one of your testimonials had 965 results. Perhaps the testimonial is real and you have just used a stock image for confidentiality purposes but surely it would not be difficult to have a satisfied client agree to having their actual picture displayed on your website?
The layout of the “certification” levels of the life coaching program reminds me of the design behind the cult of Scientology.
I do apologise but I am having difficulty establishing the credibility and authenticity of your organisation.
Skeptically yours,
Luke
Game Studies GG 